take down my walls (fmab) chapter 3

I ran up to my room and slammed the door shut behind me.

"This day couldn't have ended sooner," I thought to myself as I slowly slid down to the floor, closing my eyes. However, instead if seeing the back of my eyelids, I saw his face, winking, smiling at me. My eyes shot open and I grabbed my sketchbook. I began to draw furiously, desperately hoping to purge his face from my head. I eyed it critically when i finished, the drawing of the boy whose name I refused to say. I slammed it shut and threw it in my bad, then laid back down and struggled to sleep.

(Pov switch)

It was the end of the week and I was desperate. Lunch during the rest of that week had been less than memorable, despite my efforts. Envy was as closed off as ever. The last lunch had come and gone, and he was approaching me as I was starting to go down the stairs. However lucky (or unlucky) for me, fate was on my side, for as he opened his mouth to tell my something-what it was I would never know-he tripped. In the moment, I figured I would just grab his shoulder and steady him, but he was sturdier than he looked (in a good way). So, he pulled me down with him, and we tumbled down the stairs in a flurry of limbs and other body parts. He got to the bottom first, and I fell flat on top of him. We both winced and assessed the damage, and he flinched away from the close and unexpected contact.
"Get off," he growled at me.
"Hmm, not yet," I stalked and his glare went from menacing to furious. "Considering you pulled me fine the stairway of pain along with ya, I think you owe me something."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Let me give you a ride home," I suggested, and he shook his head immediately.
"You are not finding out where I live."
"You owe me," I repeated.

(Pov change)

I considered for a moment. Owing somebody, that was a concept I understood, and when so many of his motivations were unclear, I could trust that one. Besides, I needed him OFF me before I had an annuyerism.

"Fine, sure, whatever. Just get off!!"

He grinned and started to get up. I backed up and shivered. That was worse than being hugged, something I had gotten very good at preventing. I wrapped my arms around myself, closed my eyes, and waiting for the shivering to subside. He didn't press me, and I thought I heard him gathering up his stuff, which was strewn all over the floor. However, when I heard him flipping through something, I cracked an eye out of a paranoid habit. More than once bad people searched through my stuff to get my sketchbook and look through it. And, as was typical, I was right.

"Give. That. Back." I said through my teeth, already reaching for it. Lucky for me, he had started at the front and hadn't gotten past the drawings of my siblings. I got up abruptly and looked at him, waiting. I wanted this day to end, ASAP. He looked up and smiled, then got up and headed for his car. I supposed that he had hoped for me to change my decision, which must've been obvious. However I decided that wouldn't happen. I would just tell him right off the bat, get it all over with.

"Look, I fulfilled my end of the bargain, so I expect you'll fill your end," I began hesitantly as he started driving. He sighed heavily and I looked at him curiously, but as he met my eyes I saw he looked oddly frustrated.

"You know, Envy, I wish you wouldn't lie to yourself, and to me. You do not hate me. Not really. You and I both know that." His little speech took me by surprise, and I struggled for something, anything to say.

"How do you know?" Was all I could could up with.

"It's rather obvious," he started and I raised my eyebrow at him. "I didn't want to bring this up, but you leave me no choice." He looked me in the eyes (it was a red light), "do you normally draw people you hate?"  I felt myself turn red and my shoes suddenly completely captured my interest. "That's what I thought," he said firmly but regretfully. I shook my head.

"What do you want from me??" I demanded.

"For you to be real! For you to let me in!" I drew back from his sharp tone. "You know, you really are unfair. All I've been is nice to you, but you draw away and shut me out and yell at me!!"
 I had never heard him yell like that and i felt a surge of unwilling admiration.

"Well," started, unable to believe I was actually giving in, "I don't know how to have friends, or to be a friend. I'll probably be a shitty one."

"Don't worry," he said, "I'll help ya. It might even be fun" he turned and winked. "And please, call me by my name?"

"Um, sure. Ed." I said, trying out his name. It felt, right.

He whistled. "Damn, and you call me spoiled. Look at that house you frigging hypocrite," I glanced outside and realized we had arrived. I thanked him hastily, and scrambled out of the car. I looked back and he-Ed- was waving cheerily at me.

"See ya Monday!" He yelled as he drive away. I walked until he was out of sight, then ran all the way to my room and slammed the door.

"I...have a friend," I thought to myself. I sighed. So much for a quiet sophomore year...

(pov change)

“Al, I’m home,” I said to a seemingly empty house as I walked in. I gave the house a once over, throwing my stuff in my room.

“There you are!” I said happily as I poked my head in the kitchen. He stood there with his arms crossed, with an oddly stern look on his face. An then I remembered.

“Ah shit, I forgot to tell you I gave Envy a ride home. I’m so sorry brother, I just had to take advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” I explained.

“Envy? The same guy you were talking to before?” he asked.

“Yup,” I said, smiling proudly. “And I finally got him to let me in and be my friend after a lot of mutual insulting sessions.” Al rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, let’s head to Winry’s, I’m starving!” Al said, dragging me towards the door. “Plus I hurt from all that walking I had to do.” He shot me a meaningful look and I allowed myself to be dragged out the door and over to Winry’s. Winry was an old friend of ours, our parents used to be very close and we played together all the time as little kids. But then we moved away, and didn’t see her again until after our mom died and we had our accident. OUr dad left a few years after the move, and our mom died a year after. Several months later, Al and I were in a car accident where he lost all his limbs. I cut off my arm that was crushed under the wreckage to get to Al, who was in the path of oncoming traffic. We both barely escaped with our lives. After a few weeks of living lives like cripples-it was a living hell for us, we were in constant pain both physically and emotionally and we had no idea what to do after that- we were sent to Winry’s house. Her grandmother took us in, gave us a place to stay, and family that cared about us. Winry (don’t tell her I said this) is a prosthetics genius, and made us replacements for the limbs we lost. We’d be nothing without them, and her.

“Ed! Drink your milk!”

“No!”

“Drink it! Or do you wanna stay a shrimp forever?”

“Who are you callin’ a shrimp you shriveled old hag?!?”

Winry and Al laughed at grandmother and I, and I glared at them. We’d just finished dinner, and Winry had inspected us and made some repairs.

“Hey Ed, where are you today?” She asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been zoned out in another world this whole time...you know-lemme look at ya-” she grabbed my chin and looked me while I struggled to get out of her grip.

“Yup, just as I thought,” she said decidedly, releasing me.

“What?”

“Someone’s got a new crush…” she said teasingly. Heat flooded my cheeks as I shook my head frantically.

“Nooo, we’re just friends, barely even that!” I replied desperately.

Winry giggled “Barely even knows you’re there, does she?”

My face got even redder at the last word, she. NOT that I had feelings for a certain unsociable dick, but the fact that she thought so and knew me so well…

I put my head down on the table and groaned.

“Nope, this is not happening,” I muttered into the finely shaped oak. “Nope, nope, nope.”

Al whispered something in Winry’s ear and she shrieked. “Oh. My. God. Ed, why didn’t you tell me your allegiance was more in the rainbow than in the straight and narrow?!?” Why is this the first I’m hearing of this???” My head snapped up.

“Al, why. Why on Earth would you- Fuck you this is your revenge for making you walk isn’t it you little bastard, fuck life.” I turned towards Winry and put my hands on her shoulders.

“I. Am. Not. Rainbow. Oriented. At least, so far, ok? Jesus so I am determined to make friends with this dude, that doesn’t mean I’m falling for him!! Now reign in those horses and stop making asses out of you and me.”

“I think you’re just in denial,” she said, grinning evilly.

“Fuck you. This case is closed.”

“But-” she protested, and I cut her off.

“Closed.”

“Grr, fine,” she relented, and I relaxed.

“You can’t deny how much you’re blushing though,” she muttered, and i glared at her. My cheeks were still on fire, but it was just warm in there.Yup, that’s why. The only reason why. Just that.

(pov change)

It was cold, and dark. I was running from something, as hard and fast as I could, but it was still there. I couldn’t seem to shake it, it’s screaming and agony followed me everywhere. And then, there was a figure in the darkness. It turned, and there stood Ed, smiling at me in a dark caricature of his real grin. He grabbed me and shoved me in  a room, where the walls slowly closed in on me. I could hear the screams more clearly now.

“You can’t escape it,” he said, still smiling.

“It’s a part of you.” He closed the door and I was engulfed in black.

I woke up with a yell, and sat up in bed, breathing hard.

“Envy?” a voice called from outside my room. I got up and stretched, then opened the door. Pride stood there waiting.

“Hey Pride,” I greeted him. He looked up at me solemnly.

“I had a dream again, will you draw it?” he asked, and held up papers filled with his little-kid drawings.

“C’mon in,” I said, waving him in my room and shut the door behind us.

“Who do you want me to draw?” I asked as I settled down with my sketchbook.

He looked up at me, searched my face and said, “You dreamt of yourself again, didn’t you?” I sighed, and he nodded thoughtfully. “Will you draw me?” he asked, and I glanced at him in surprise, as he had never let me before. You see, it wasn’t really him I was drawing. Ever since Pride was born, Gluttony and I started having nightmares. Pride says he’d always had them, and I figured Greed probably did too, even if he didn’t say. IN these nightmares, we dreamed of monsters. These monsters were grotesque,  frightening, powerful, disturbing, and also us. I hadn’t ever seen Pride’s monster before, so I was curious as to why he wanted me to draw it.

“Things are changing,” Pride said softly. “I want you to be ready.”

I put my hand on his shoulder and nodded. “Don’t worry, alright? Relax and let me handle it,” I said reassuringly.

“Sure,” he said and smiled faintly. I looked at the drawings that he had brought and set to work.